Weekly Rochester Events #261: Dude, You Look Like Two Bucks!

Thursday, January 8, 2004

I want to see the following ads (among others):

• The butterfly guy interrupts the dad to say that his son is searching for information on being gay to make sure he should allow it.
• The butterfly guy is looking over the shoulder of some guy on the Internet, and makes suggestions on finding better hentai pornography.
• The butterfly guy is on the phone letting John Ashcroft know that someone in the house is getting information on America from a foreign news source.
• The butterfly guy finds a bunch of credit cards and sends the information to Microsoft.
• The butterfly guy scans through the computer in the middle of the night and finds a couple MP3 files with "Metallica" in the filenames, so he calls the RIAA who arrests the homeowner and takes all the computer equipment away.

Those would be more true-to-form.

While I'm on the topic of things that annoy me, what's the deal with poor audio synchronization on TV these days? I'm the kind of freak that notices these things in general, and in the past they've been off by a couple frames ... maybe a tenth of a second or so. However, recently, I've seen stuff where they're off by nearly a second. I mean, come on—that much of an error can be fixed even without a clap board. Nothing like quality in America.

Anyway, I had a New Year's Eve party at my house this year. I had been disappointed in past years, so I decided I'd try to fix all the problems. My idea was that there's no point to the holiday, so you should just all sit around and talk about stuff ... possibly touching on some deeper philosophical issues you wouldn't ordinarily talk about. Well, I think I pulled it off mostly.

I had about eight people show up who were in three groups who hadn't met before. I think it's amusing that I've become more consistent and don't really change my behavior when I'm with one group or another, so I don't mind bringing different groups together. Well, I guess some people wouldn't mix right, but mostly it works out.

I think the party went pretty well ... we hung out and had cheese and various kinds of alcohol. We watched the ball drop and had champagne. We talked about a variety of topics, and it seemed like everyone was getting along and had fun.

I remember everything up until about 3 or so.

I had a few drinks and thought things were going well, but one big glass of Bombay Sapphire on the rocks, and all of a sudden I'm rip-roaring drunk. I guess the three remaining friends weren't overly offended, and we ended up watching movies and such until about 5. I didn't remember anything, really.

However, I do have a pocket voice recorder that I use to take notes of ideas and such. Well, it took me several days to realize that I had recorded something that night. It's pretty self-explanatory except that it took 40 seconds to say, so pace yourself while reading it:

All right, so it's 2004. I'm—fucking—wrecked. It's 4:56 a.m. It's New Year's. I'm wrecked. I'm locking ... well, attempting to find my keys. Hey, look at that: sets that I made. Lock the door ... on the side of the house. Keys go in ... lock goes in ... lock is locked on 2003 ... 2004 is on its way. Good night. Thanks for playing.

See, you just can't make up incoherent drivel like that.

S A T U R D A Y

O'Bagelo's, 165 State Street, noon. Over at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 10:45 p.m. is (what the Bug Jar has excitedly confirmed) The Lyres from Boston, surf-rock influenced punk-rock from The Priests, and punk-rock with hard-rock vocals and somewhat rockabilly beats from The UV Rays. [source: Bug Jar calendar] Tonight at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is an Elvis Presley Tribute Show featuring rockabilly from Krypton 88, and soulless bluegrass/country/honky-tonk cover band Dang starting around 10:30 p.m. I should probably see Dang again to see if they've improved ... nah. [source: Whole Lotta Shakin' calendar] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Long Day's Journey Into Night starting at 8. Nothing like the story of a self-destructive family to start a weekend off right, eh? [source: Eastman House calendar] Updated: Dang ... I almost missed this: Richmond's (21 Richmond St.) will be hosting the tight modern rock from Veluxe, and power rock from Bee Eater starting around 10:30 p.m. [source: the proverbial grapevine]

T U E S D A Y

In what ought to be a pretty darn weird show, Slim Cessna's Auto Club, Bamm Bamm, and XKS will be at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 10:45 p.m. [source: Bug Jar calendar] At Verb Café at Writers and Books (740 University Ave.) tonight at 7:30 is another installment of the Genesee Reading Series. [source: Writers and Books calendar] Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) is hosting an Acoustic Open Mic from 8 to 10. For this one, there's no microphones and it's pretty open ended. [source: Daily Perks calendar]

W E D N E S D A Y

Tonight at Montage Grille (50 Chestnut St.) is Big Drum—Songwriters In The Round starting around 6:30 p.m. I didn't get a list of who's playing tonight, though. [source: Freetime] Over at Spot Coffee (East Ave. and Mathews St.) starting around 9 p.m. is The Spaces. [source: WBER calendar] Tonight at Verb Café at Writers and Books (740 University Ave.) is the Rochester Poets Reading and Open Mike starting around 7. [source: Writers and Books calendar] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Tulitikkutehtaan tyttö (The Match Factory Girl) (about a woman who gets revenge on her non-parental parents and un-loving lover) starting at 8 along with the short Those Were the Days featuring the music of the Leningrad Cowboys. [source: Eastman House calendar] Tonight from 8 to 10 is an Open-Mic Comedy Night at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) While once it was a workshop type of environment, it's now more-or-less a regular open mic ... by default it's still a place to try out new stuff. [source: Daily Perks calendar]