Weekly Rochester Events #231: White Inches in Arkwright

Thursday, June 12, 2003

... but first, FUTILE RANTING!

Let me just throw in a couple pet peeves about drivers. First, if you spend money to make your car look like it's fast, please accelerate quickly and at least go the speed limit. There's nothing more annoying than some Japanese four-banger with a spoiler on the back and "Type-R" decals taking five minutes to accelerate to 25 miles per hour down Jefferson Road. While I'm at it, if you have a NASCAR sticker anywhere on your car, you better not make dumb mistakes on the road. If you really want to put your cap-in-hand for Dale, use a friggin' turn signal once in a while!

Actually there is something more annoying: when people spend money to get a fast car or an SUV then don't exploit its capabilities in day-to-day driving. I guess the same acceleration and speed rules should apply to cars that can actually go fast—tooling around in your 5-liter Mustang GT at 28 mph just goes to show that your testicles are actually in a rinsed Gerber baby food jar at home rather than hanging between your legs. Someone is eventually going to do the math and Martha Stewart your CEO ass right to jail: "[Judge] Let's see ... CEO: check. Violated SEC rules: check. Does not have testicles: check. Ok then, it looks like I have no choice but to put you in prison."

Back to the topic at hand, let's not forget SUV's: so you bought a commuter vehicle that has tremendous capacity to kill other people and uses all the fucking gas in the world, but it's also got a suspension that can go over mountains, so do not slow down to go over bumps you tender-assed fuck! Railroad tracks, potholes, bumps in the road, recessed curbs on driveways—all these things are no problem for your car. I drive an über piece of shit, and I want to go faster than you, so get your case of Preparation-H and stay off the road.

Whew ... that's better.

You know what I noticed the other day? In response to your statement, please confirm or deny it on your own as appropriate, and be funny this time. Actually, I noticed that my visual acuity is at its peak on bright cloudy days. I think that sunny days are too bright for my eyes, but on bright, cloudy ones, it's like everything is in stunningly sharp focus.

T H U R S D A Y

Over at Water Street Music Hall (204 N. Water St.) starting around 8:30 p.m. is The Little River Band. Believe it or not ... I guess they're still around. The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Powaqqatsi starting at 8. I guess a documentary about the modernization of developing nations. Over at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 9 p.m. is The Eaves, The XXO's, and the ever fun and interesting acoustic rock of The Earl Cram Revue. The Penny Arcade (4785 Lake Ave.) will be hosting the ever fun punk-influenced rock of The Goonies, Marius, and The Glow starting around 10 p.m. Tonight at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is The Mud Flaps, and Dawg starting around 11:30 p.m. Pure Kona Poetry Open Mic Night is at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) tonight starting at 7:30.

F R I D A Y

Punk rock of Electric Frankenstein, and Bludwulf will be at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 8:30 p.m. The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Sister Helen starting at 8. A woman turns from her sisterhood to a halfway house for drug users and others to cover for her failures raising her own children. Better Days (or skip their irritating Flash intro) will be at Johnny's Irish Pub (1382 Culver Rd., still smoke-free) starting around 9 p.m. Despite what Freetime Magazine says, they won't be at Froggy's. Tonight at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is the International Death Metal Show with Sublime Cadaveric Decomposition, and Brodequin starting around 10:30 p.m. The reason you can't get anywhere downtown tonight is that it's this year's first East End Fest (East Ave., near Scio and Richmond St. near Main St.) Just a bunch of blandly crowd-pleasing bands.

S A T U R D A Y

Flag Day O'Bagelo's, 165 State Street, noon. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Voodoo Glow Skulls, The Pietasters, and Catch 22 will be at High Falls Festival Site (Browns Race and Commercial St.) starting around 5:30 p.m. I suspect you'll need advance tickets. The really good groove rock/zydeco band Sunny Weather will be at The Club at Water Street (204 N. Water St.) playing sets at 7:30 and at 10 or so bracketing the The Rochester International Jazz Festival, show with the Celtic fiddlers of The Eileen Ivers Band next door at Water Street Music Hall (204 N. Water St.) This morning at Camp Eastman (Lakesore Blvd., in Durand Eastman Park) is a Flag Day Flag Burning and Ceremony starting around 11 a.m. which I can only imagine is a ceremony to retire damaged flags. Genesee Country Village & Museum (Flint Hill Rd. in Mumford) will have something called a 19th Century Whirl starting around 5:30 p.m. Apparently it's quite the event, since they're recommending reservations. The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing War starting at 8. The war of independence in Chechenya with a twist of two captured British actors. Tonight at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) is The Blowtops, punk rock of The Thundergods, heavy modern rock with Defenbombed, and The Shaveks starting around 10:45 p.m. Over at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) starting around 10:30 p.m. is The Irthlings, and the ... umm ... unique sounds of GAD.

S U N D A Y

Father's Day In addition to their open jam later, The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) will be hosting Outrageous Cherry, the vanilla rockers The Rat Kings, and The Irthlings starting around 9 p.m.

M O N D A Y

Over at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 10:45 p.m. is A Global Threat, and Bludwulf.

T U E S D A Y

Kim's Carnival Ice Cream (625 Culver Rd.) has apparently gone bankrupt and The Reynolds Auction Company will be there to auction off all the ice cream machines and stuff, starting around 10 a.m. The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Such a Gorgeous Kid Like Me starting at 8. A black comedy about a murderess who charms men into her net. Tonight is The Green Party of Monroe County's Benefit Show featuring great funk-rock from Mountain Mojo Authority, and The Bomb Squad at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 9 p.m. They say to bring either some genetically modified food substance, or a cheese ball for the grab bag gag giveaway. Whatever that means. Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) is hosting an Acoustic Open Mic from 8 to 10. For this one, there's no microphones and it's pretty open ended.

W E D N E S D A Y

The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Pinocchio starting at 8. I'd otherwise skip this one, but it's the uncut Italian version of Roberto Benigni's film where plays the titular puppet. Tonight from 8 to 10 is an Open-Mic Comedy Night at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) While once it was a workshop type of environment, it's now more-or-less a regular open mic ... by default it's still a place to try out new stuff.