So I guess what I'm asking is for people to go to the guestbook and sign it. I know you can leave the e-mail and website lines blank, so you can make up a name or whatever ... just drop a note to say you've been here.

What else ... oh yeah, I got home last Thursday and found that there was a strange package on my porch. It's pictured to the right. I didn't know who it came from, or what it was, and there was no useful markings on it. There was some magic marker numbers written on it, and it was made of plywood and had a sliding top. Plus, there was no note, and nobody left a phone message or an e-mail.

I've got all this computer junk lying around doing stuff, and I knew that someone stopped by at right around 9 in the morning and the webcam showed a car in the driveway at that point. Too bad it sucks so bad, or else I might have been able to tell what kind of car it was or what color ... I could only tell it had a spoiler on the back.

My only guess was it was from Sondra since she'd be available at 9 in the morning and might have thought to drop something off. Well, I kept trying to call her and eventually got hold of her around 6. It really threw me that she hadn't dropped it off ... I had no other guesses.

Shit.

For the past couple hours I had been pondering what it could be. Although it was very unlikely, I couldn't help but think it was one of those anonymous mail-bomb threats. Ok, fine ... I'll call the police. I felt like a jackass, but what could I do?

A couple cops showed up in a few minutes. They asked some questions about it and if I had enemies and stuff. The one guy started kicking it which kinda freaked me out. The other called to see if they could get a nitrate sniffing dog, but there was some procedural reason that wasn't allowed. So we all just stood there for a minute. Then the one cop decided to just open the box, which kinda freaked me out again ... I felt a little better that at least if something blew up, I followed the right steps, but felt like an idiot that nothing happened.

Once I saw that it was full of old Radio Shack stuff, I knew who it was who had dropped it off. I told the cops I knew who it was and they went away.

Now, I don't want to bash my friend who dropped the stuff off because it's really just a funny story and because she's feeling kinda down lately. It's funny that she could have just left the box open and I would have known. You all gotta admit that it's a pretty freaky looking box.

• Laurel Canyon (at The Little) - A hippie record producer and his straight-laced son are at odds ... something like that.
• All the Real Girls (at The Little) - A playboy finally finds true love and needs to undo his past.
• Anger Management - Sad ... what's Jack Nicholson slumming with Adam Sandler?

A timely reminder of how America struggles to define its relationship with the rest of the world. It is based on interviews conducted by Eve Ensler with numerous women who survived the civil war in the former Yugoslavia.