Pre-weekend Weekend Lunch Invite 59. 4/9/94. 4,704,875 miles. 183 orbits. 1 Space Radar Laboratory

Ack! I have been exposed to some genetic contagen which seems to be attacking me on a cellular level, modifying the DNA in each of my cells. I believe most Earthlings call this affliction ... The Flu.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm stabilizing the color scheme because this one is pretty readable and I like it. Also, it saves me the trouble of finding a new scheme week after week. :-)

Movies

Movies this week:

• Knockout - A hard hitting drama set in East L.A. about a young woman who decides to take out her frustration in the ring instead of the bedroom.
• Map of the World - A woman moves a small town in Wisconsin to run a dairy farm with her husband until their plans go awry when a friend's daughter drowns in the saturation advertising of the Dairy Council.
• Reindeer Games - Rudy (Ben "He Is Not Cute, Mom" Affleck) gets imprisoned for six years when he and his bitch, Nick (James Frain) are to be paroled. When Nick is killed during a prison riot, Rudy assumes his identity and is politely convinced to attend a casino robery.
• Wonder Boys - A professional writer is runs around the writers block until one of his students inspires him to start a collection of dead attack dogs of old girlfriends.

Thursday

Tonight's good bet at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is Watkins & The Rapiers is/are playing. It's not clear to me how many bands are actually playing.

Also, everybody's favorite comic Eddy Strange will be at the train wreck of a venue Comix Cafe (3450 Winton Pl.)

If you're trying to eek out a little more worldly understanding, the Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.), is showing Texas Tenor: The Illinois Jacquet Story, the story of the jazz & blues ... uhhh ... hornist Jean Baptiste "Illinois" Jacquet.

WBER's Alternative Music night at Red (171 St. Paul.)

Friday!

Tonight there're no excuses not to see Amy's Comedy Cellar at 7:30 at Christian's Cafe in Village Gate Square (274 N. Goodman St.) The local comedians from the open mics around town get together to do a combination of stand-up and sketch comedy. It's free and you can't see it anywhere else.

Ok, maybe you might want to see the 1992 Spike Lee version of Malcolm X at the Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.)

Karaoke at Boston Brew Company (251 Exchange Blvd.)

Saturday

O'Bagelo's, 165 State Street, noon.

Later at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is The Hi-Risers.

More interesting, though, is 5Head at Tonic (East Avenue near Alexander.)

Likewise, just to throw off your Saturday choices even more, Fiona Apple is at Eastman Theatre (60 Gibbs St.)

Sunday

If you're looking to be bold (bold?) this weekend, Geva's NextStage (75 Woodbury Blvd.) is hosting Hibernatus Interruptus: A Winter Festival of New Plays at noon and 4.

• Futurama: Raging Bender - Bender becomes a headliner in the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.
• King of the Hill: Movin' on Up - After being reprimanded by Hank, Luanne moves next door with some rowdy college students.
• Simpsons: Pygmoelian - Plastic surgery turns Moe into a big-time lady-killer.
• Malcolm in the Middle: Francis Escapes - After his phone privileges are taken away, a lovesick Francis leaves military school to see his girlfriend Bebe.

Now brought to levels of recurringness, a show called Audience Quiz is at The Old Toad (277 Alexander St.) As Ian told me:

This is an ancient British ritual known as the Pub or Table Quiz -- performed in hostelries since before the start of recorded time. Little has changed in the millenia since early Man first formed groups aroiund the fire (or bar) and competed first for the spaces closest to the warmth (or alcohol) and then for tacky beer holders & T-shirts. Competition is fierce driven by the desire to lord over the assembled lesser beings. Sometimes rules are bent or broken -- the participants who brought a laptop and Grolier's CD and what seemed to be the entire Simon School MBA class were two of my favourites.

Open mic comedy at the Colosseum Caffe (262 Park Ave.) starting around 9:30.

Open mic poetry at Java's (16 Gibb Street) starting around 9:30.

Wednesday

South Park today at Rohrbach's at 315 Gregory Street at 10:00. Tonight's "classic" is Rainforest Schmainforest The boys visit the Costa Rican rain forest on their "Getting Gay With Kids" choir tour.

The Nuts & Bolts Improv Troupe will be at Club Vibes (150 Andrews St.) at 8:00 p.m. Curiously, this is where Token Joe's once was.