Pre-weekend Weekend Lunch Invite 55. Have you driven a Ford out of office lately?

In case you haven't heard the dirt on Rohrbach's, there's some funny business going on. Without mentioning names, and without drawing any conclusions I'll forward on what I know... Here's the rundown of the recent events:

• A few weeks ago, the office was robbed, presumably after hours. They have an alarm system, and it takes about 5 minutes for the police to arrive after it goes off. A computer was stolen (monitor and CPU at least; I don't know if the keyboard and stuff went as well) through a ground level window from a basement office. Based on the evidence, they moved pretty fast--they broke the window, climbed down, carried all the computer pieces out, and got away before five minutes was up.
• Last week, they had a grease fire in the kitchen. It did enough damage that they were closed for several days, and I don't even know if it's yet in operation. There was a fire extinguisher with an up-to-date inspection sticker, but it was the wrong type for grease fires.
• Also last week, two bartenders were fired and were told by the other servers instead of the boss.

I could get in trouble for saying this stuff, but hey, I have a couple sources whom I won't reveal and I'll just have to take the page down if anyone with authority complains.

More or less interesting to some, Alexandra Whitman is getting married. If you don't care move on, and if you do, go ahead and read the sentence again. She's marrying Dan from Canada whom she met at Bev & Cam's wedding last Memorial Day weekend. No date or details yet, but I'll keep ya all posted.

In other news there's a couple theatrical events going on. First, Kelly Gunter is in The American Clock (I think) which starts this weekend at RIT. She's under some kind of pseudo-obligation to sell tickets to people she knows. Second, Geva (75 Woodbury Blvd.) is starting a new theater group, Nextstage, this week.

By the way, if you feel like going on TV, you can pretend that you love somebody and call RCTV at 325-1238 so you can be on TV to tell them.

Movies

Movies this week:

• Eye of the Beholder - A private eye (Ewan McGregor) follows Joanna (Ashley Judd) a woman who has an O.C. disorder about killing men and sometimes helps her out.
• Isn't She Great - The story of Jacqueline Susann (Bette Midler), the author of Valley of the Dolls and her husband Irving Mansfield (Nathan Lane) who supports her typographical dabbling into the world of drugs and Hollywood.
• Sleepy Hollow: Tim Burton directs Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, and Christopher Walken with music by Danny Elfman in Washington Irving's story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". Open captioned this weekend at Regal Henrietta.

Thursday

As I mentioned a few lines ago, Nextstage at Geva (75 Woodbury Blvd.) starts up this week. The Neo-Futurists from Chicago are performing Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind which is "30 plays in 60 minutes" where the audience gets to yell out suggestions from a menu of vignettes. Oh yeah, and it costs $10 plus the number rolled on a six-sided die in dollars (i.e. $11 to $16).

Furthermore, The American Clock opens today at RIT. It's a series of vignettes about the Great Depression.

Meanwhile, Hannas Groove is at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) I haven't heard them, but Cheese Ball Psychotics last week were pretty good (even though I'm not really into punk.)

Last week I saw two of the three "emerging artists" at Milestones (170 East Ave.): Loam and The Screws (I thought Loam was better but they were both good. Tonight, Frumunda, Mid Air Collision, and 7-D Zero will be playing.

WBER's Alternative Music night at Red (171 St. Paul.)

Friday!

If you're trapped in Fairport, you can try out Ten Typing Monkeys at Margarita's (1226 Fairport Rd.) I recall hearing their name before but I don't know if I saw them. In any case, they've got a pretty good name.

Karaoke at Boston Brew Company (251 Exchange Blvd.)

Saturday

O'Bagelo's, 165 State Street, noon.

Tonight at RIT, Jim Brewer is performing his comedy in the Clark Gymnasium. You may remember him for his infamous "Goat Boy" sketch on Saturday Night Live (which thankfully never made it as a movie...yet) or you may know him for his great drinking bit where the stomach is the bouncer and the drinks are the guests. 8pm in Clark Gym. Tickets are on sale at the Student Alumni Union Candy Counter, Student Alumni Union Game Room and the College Activities Board Office. Ticket prices are $8 students, $10 faculty/ staff/alumni, and $12 for the general public.

Buddhahood will be at Frankie and Louie's Bayou Bar & Grill (The Centers at High Falls.)

Sunday

• Superbowl: St. Louis Rams vs. the Tenessee Titans
• King of the Hill: Love Hurts ... and So Does Art (rerun) - Bobby becomes a deli food aficionado and develops gout; the modern art expo features an X-ray of Hank's colon.
• Simpsons: Eight Misbehavin (rerun) - After Apu and his wife give birth to octuplets, they unwittingly allow themselves to become the zoo's latest attraction.

Silence and stuff.

Tuesday

Open mic comedy at the Colosseum Caffe (262 Park Ave.) starting around 9:30.

Open mic poetry at Java's (16 Gibb Street) starting around 9:30.

Wednesday

South Park today at Rohrbach's at 315 Gregory Street at 10:00. Ah yes, another rerun..."Tom's Rhinoplasty" - Stan falls in love with his substitute teacher and breaks Wendy's heart.

If that doesn't float your boat, Patton is at the Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) If you haven't seen this movie yet, please do.

(The links archive better start soon...I'm losing track!)