Weekly Rochester Events #395: The King James Edition
Thursday, August 3, 2006
Ok, so this is going to be the last update for the summer. I decided to give myself a vacation — with pay, thank you very much — and won't bother doing another update until sometime in September. Last year I left it as more of a do-it-yourself kind of thing, and the year before I just faked it. Well this time it's more of a gigantic month-long update with events getting more sparse (and undoubtedly less accurate) the further in the future they are from August 2.
Lately I've been thinking about having expectations of others. It seems to be a weird line somewhere that differentiates a request from a demand. The black-and-white cases are of course pretty obvious and reactions are understandable, but I'm looking for that fine divining line that differentiates a response of tremendous effort from one of tremendous disdain.
Somewhere near my house, someone had a garbage bag half-full of packing peanuts — I'm not sure if they were transporting it or throwing it out or what — but it had blown from wherever it came from into my neighbor's yard. My first thought was to leave it there, but only about half a grocery-bag's worth had blown around so far. I decided to go clean it up, tape the bag, and throw it away in my own trash.
It's funny because there is a certain amount of stupidity in leaving an open bag of packing peanuts outside on a breezy day — so much so that it seems almost deliberate. However, it's a bit different than an empty cigarette pack tossed aside as if to say, "you pick it up" — it was not me who was expected to pick it up, but presumably the person in whose yard the bag ended up.
I see the same kind of request-versus-demand thing coming up with people begging on the street. For a while I had simple rules around it — first it was to never give money because it would only be enough to keep them poor, then it was to always give because it might help a little — but I've come to the conclusion that it's just not that simple.
In this kind of situation, there's a spectrum from asking for a handout to outright robbery. (The beggars near East and Alexander, for instance, can get rather pushy and intimidating — probably because it works — but they're getting close to robbing people.) Breaking begging interactions down further, there is often an element of humility as payment, and there is an element of expectation by preventing a dignified way to decline to give.
For instance, even a request of "would you be so kind as to give me some money to eat?" takes away a dignified way to decline (thereby making it a demand, in a logic-puzzle kind of way): you can respond by saying no, implying that you are not so kind, or you can question where the money is going, implying that you think the other person is a liar. You have no choice and you have to give up something, so in a way, you've really been robbed. Maybe the only legitimate request is direct: "may I have some money?"
I think the most perplexing thing about the dichotomy is how dramatically opposite the reactions are (in that they do not fall on a spectrum as the requests seem to do.) I mean, if I'm asked to help someone, I'm actually quite likely to drop what I'm doing and help them, but if I feel they expect me to help them — that they had previously concluded that, fatalistically, I would help — then I'm taken aback and get defensive and antagonistic. And despite the radically different reactions, the differences in the request can be quite subtle — "could you help me with these groceries" versus "could you help me with these groceries," for instance.
I think at the core of it is that the only open-ended requests are ones where you identify your need and possibly explain the reason for it. For instance, when I had the garage sales at the end of July, I could have made a request of my friends: "I'd like you to come to my sale because I have a lot of things I don't want and you might find something you could use." I find it annoying to be broached indirectly to participate — it gets like going to a party and find out your friend is trying to rope you into some dumb multilevel marketing scheme.
So anyway, here are some events that I would like to be able to attend. Perhaps you will find some you like to do to.
| Last Week |
| Read Guestbook
| Sign Guestbook
| Contact Jayce
Current Rochester Weather
Internet Movie Database
On this day ... August 3
Link of the Week:
LetsSayThanks.com - Send a card for free to our troops overseas. Although it's a national program (sponsored by Xerox), apparently the cards are printed right here in Webster.
DreamHost Web Hosting
I use DreamHost to run JayceLand.com. Click the ad to buy hosting and I'll get money to run my site. Hooray!
Store at CafePress
Buy some JayceLand junk at sky high prices!
Rochester Music Coalition
Rochester Music Photos
Rochester Goes Out (D&C)
Rochester Punk Rock
Jazz 90.1 Calendar
Delusions of Adequacy
Mystery and Misery
Monroe County, NY Bars
Kids Out and About
Movie links courtesy The Internet Movie Database. Map links courtesy Google Maps — sorry to those people with browsers not supported.
About the title ... The King James Bible was translated to English 395 years ago in 1611.
This page is Jason Olshefsky's list of things to do in Rochester, NY and the surrounding region (including nearby towns Irondequoit, Webster, Penfield, Pittsford, Victor, Henrietta, Gates, Chili, Greece, and Charlotte, and occasionally other places in Monroe County and the Western New York region.) It is updated every week with daily listings for entertainment, activities, performances, movies, music, bands, comedy, improv, poetry, storytelling, lectures, discussions, debates, theater, plays, and generally fun things to do.
Music events are usually original bands with occasional cover bands and DJ's with musical styles including punk, emo, ska, swing, rock, rock-and-roll, alternative, metal, jazz, blues, noise band, experimental music, folk, acoustic, and "world-beat."
Events listed take place during the day, in the evenings, or as part of the city's nightlife as listed.
Although I'm reluctant to admit it, it is a Rochester blog and I'm essentially blogging about Rochester events.
Oh, and it's spelled JayceLand with no space and a capital L, not Jayce Land, Jaycee Land, Jace Land, Jase Land, Joyce Land, Jayce World, Jayceeland, Jaceland, Jaseland, Joyceland, Jayceworld, Jayceeworld, Jaceworld, Jaseworld, nor Joyceworld. (Now if you misspell it in some search engine, you at least get a shot at finding it.)
It's also not to be confused with
or JakesWorld which is a site of a Rochester animator.
While I'm on the topic of keywords for search engines, this update includes information for Thursday, August 3, 2006 (Thu, Aug 3, 2006, 8/3/2006, or 8/3/06) Friday, August 4, 2006 (Fri, Aug 4, 2006, 8/4/2006, or 8/4/06) Saturday, August 5, 2006 (Sat, Aug 5, 2006, 8/5/2006, or 8/5/06) Sunday, August 6, 2006 (Sun, Aug 6, 2006, 8/6/2006, or 8/6/06) Monday, August 7, 2006 (Mon, Aug 7, 2006, 8/7/2006, or 8/7/06) Tuesday, August 8, 2006 (Tue, Aug 8, 2006, 8/8/2006, or 8/8/06) and Wednesday, August 9, 2006 (Wed, Aug 9, 2006, 8/9/2006, or 8/9/06).
Send a message to the JayceLand webmaster
Copyright © 2006 Jason Olshefsky. All rights reserved.