Weekly Rochester Events #367: Connecticut Becomes Fundamentally Ordered

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I've been meaning to write something about not being afraid of hypothetical things. That is, it's not so much about living without fear as it is about living without fear of that which hasn't happened yet.

See, as I get older, I start believing that the things I do already are "safe" and everything else isn't. Given a hypothetical situation, I think I know what might happen, but even with all the live experience I have, I'm consistently (and often dramatically) wrong about it. I forget that I'm still able to adapt to new things pretty easily, so it's always just a matter of trying.

When I'm confronted with a new situation, I can see right away the moment that I start making assumptions about what might happen — I think about the possibilities and fixate on what might be the worst thing to happen. Once I recognize that I'm making excuses, it's a matter of thwarting that. Probably the easiest thing is, when confronted with a new opportunity, think "yes" first and assess only cursory problems as opposed to saying "no" first and attempt to justify my answer.

Like, let's say you wanted to leave town and go visit Niagara Falls. If you start with a "no" response, it goes something like, "well, no, I can't spare the time. I might not be able to get to work on time." To counter, is it really that important? — I mean, could you afford to skip one day? "Well, probably, but I can't all the time." So, just don't do it all the time.

But what if your first thought was, "yes, let's go, but first let me check ..." Is there anything pressing at work going on? Do I have anything I promised people I'd do, and that's important enough that I don't want to cancel? Will this risk my job? Does it really matter?

Of course, this applies to really simple things too — like my quest for the best cheeseburger in town. [Or for a better way to segue into the activities of the week.]

On Thursday, I went out with a friend of mine to Restaurant 2 Vine (24 Winthrop St., behind the Little Theatre) to try out their hamburgers. I had high hopes, for not only had these particular hamburgers come recommended, but they're also $8, so they must be good, right?

Well, not really. Nothing seemed to be technically wrong with the preparation (for instance, the juices didn't appear to be squeezed out of them) except that my definition of "medium" is different from theirs — the burger I ate I would have referred to as "rare", reserving "medium" for one which was pink and fully cooked inside. Nonetheless, it was a pretty good burger, just not exceptional. The only analogy I can give is to that of sushi: mediocre burgers are to exceptional burgers are what rice and some raw fish is to sushi. Likewise, an exceptional burger — or any exceptional food for that matter — is a visceral juggernaut of pleasurable taste. This burger was not.

Throughout the week I've been talking with my friend Sondra about people's expectations of the behaviors of others. We've been trying to divine which requests from others are valid (i.e. "it threatens my safety") and invalid (i.e. "you are acting like a slut"). But from there, we considered what to do about people who reject us because of our independence — both of us automaticallly want to help them open the possibilities in their own lives, but it might be a better solution to treat it as an attack on our individuality.

This wasn't an issue on Friday morning when I hung out with a bunch of artists at Richard Harvey's studio. Afterward a group of us went to Feta Chinni (274 Goodman St. N., in Village Gate, formerly Mykonos) for some lunch ... it was pretty good and cheap too.

Anyway, someone brought up the notion of poor people treating rental property with disrespect — that it is more likely that poor people would leave a rented property in shambles but a wealthier person would not. Being among the people who would "respect someone else's property and leave it in a clean state," the thought crossed my mind, "why is that the right way?" I mean, from another perspective, it is just stuff — a rented property is just a pile of things that someone "owns". If they are unable to personally take care of every detail, what right do they have to assume that anyone else will also take care of it to the degree they would if they could?

Sondra and I also discussed about why people are threatened by someone who doesn't fit into a mold? Kind of like the landlord mentioned but in a more general sense — rather than fitting into the role of "the uncaringly destructive tenant", we were referring more to someone whose life can't be summed up in a 3-word sound-bite.

In some ways, it's related to people who believe in the lowest common denominator of individual behaviors. In that, I'm shifting focus to people who believe morality can be defined by the set of actions that every member of a society would entertain participating in — that is, whatever behaviors I would never ever participate are those outside morality. If I feel that I would never participate in gay sex, then gay sex must be immoral, or if I maintain my house to a certain minimum standard of cleanliness, then that must be the correct minimum standard.

Friday night I went to The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) to see La caduta degli dei (The Damned). It was long and wicked: a family running a valuable steel mill in Nazi Germany falls apart — partly due to the influences of nazism. And by "fall apart", I'm not just talking about arguments, but about pedophilia, incest, homosexual experimentation, transvestitism, and not staying a the table when you're supposed to.

However, I was a bit distracted by guy who sat way in the back going "woo woo" every time they showed naked mens butts — is he some flavor of Puritan for reinforcing that nudity is taboo, or am I for wanting him to shut the fuck up and let me watch the movie? Was something wrong with my being distracted about whatever else he might be doing, often concerned that I might get sprayed with ejaculate? (Which, by the way, did not happen.)

Anyway, Saturday night I went to A|V Art Sound Space (#8 in the Public Market, off N. Union St., formerly The All-Purpose Room) and got in just as Ed Downey and Ian Downey were finishing their last song, doing a sort of dueling cello/saxophone improvisation. Next, Tim Feeney, and Vic Rawlings played their noise-based set. Tim plays percussion in a non-standard way, typically getting things to ring at their resonant frequency and Vic plays sounds through his custom noise-pedal contraption. After they played, my friend Mary summed it up best when she said, "[she] felt like [she] just took a bath".

Sunday evening I decided to head out to The Little (240 East Ave.) to see The Dying Gaul. From the trailers, you might think it's about a guy trying to get his autobiographical script made into a movie without changing the central characters from a gay couple to a straight couple. That's really just the setup — as it progresses and people lie to one another more and more, and generally fail to communicate, things spin further and further out of control until it just crashes right into the end of the movie.

To finish things up, my own view of morality versus individuality is based in part on Abraham Maslow's "hierarchy of human needs." I figure people are entitled to pursue their goals in any way they see fit with the caveat that others are trying to do the same. Any conflicts between people are to be resolved on an individual basis. Rather than starting from any person believing they're the authoritative source for morality, I feel it should be measured in the widest possible way. Rather than focusing on what behaviors are acceptable to everyone, look at what behaviors are acceptable to nobody: if everyone can agree it is immoral then it probably is.

T H U R S D A Y

This afternoon from 5:15 p.m. to 6:15 p.m. in the Kate Gleason Auditorium at The Rochester Public Library (115 South Ave.) is discussion in the Thursday Thinkers series of lectures. Today, Project Design Engineer Howard Ressel and Structural Engineer Steve Percassi discuss The Changing Skyline: Designing the New Troup-Howell Bridge. [source: Rochester Public Library calendar] [all ages] Tonight at The Asbury First United Methodist Church (1050 East Ave.) starting at 7 p.m. is the monthly The Rochester Genealogical Society meeting featuring Gregory S. Spacher discussing The Search for Alfred and Ida Burnett and Erik R. Seeman discussing Three Centuries of New York Cemeteries. [source: Rochester Genealogical Society website] Tonight at Starry Nites Café (696 University Ave., formerly Moonbeans) is Bill Welch starting around 8 p.m. [source: Starry Nites calendar] [all ages] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Zazie dans le métro (Zazie in the Subway) starting at 8 p.m. In it, a precocious girl tours 1960's Paris on her own. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages] Over at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 9:30 p.m. is good punk-rock from The Emersons, fun, Irish-slanted punk-rock from Tom Foolery and the Shannanighans (not Shenanigans), and even more fun punk-rock from The Flour City Knuckleheads. [source: Bug Jar calendar] [18+] Pure Kona Poetry Open Mic Night is at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) tonight starting at 7:30. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages] Drinking Liberally meets at 8 p.m. tonight at Monty's Korner (355 East Ave.) [source: RocWiki calendar]

F R I D A Y

This afternoon at 5 p.m. and again this evening at 9 p.m. at Johnny's Irish Pub (1382 Culver Rd., still smoke-free) is the talented acoustic cover-song guy John Akers. [source: Johnny's Irish Pub calendar] This evening from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. is the opening of Unseen America at The Center at High Falls Fine Art Gallery (70 Brown's Race) featuring images from union members' lives. [source: the proverbial grapevine] Tonight in Hoyt Hall at The University of Rochester (Elmwood Ave. at Intercampus Dr., details on River Campus Map), The University of Rochester Cinema Group will be showing The Constant Gardener at 7:00 p.m., 9:30 p.m., and midnight. [source: RocWiki] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Keane starting at 8 p.m. about a guy searching for his missing daughter abducted three months prior. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages] Tonight at German House (315 Gregory St.) starting at 9 p.m. is wicked fun percussive groove-rock band The BuddhaHood for their CD release party. [source: Rochester Music Coalition calendar] [18+] A|V Art Sound Space (#8 in the Public Market, off N. Union St., formerly The All-Purpose Room) will be hosting Seth Faergolzia, disorienting chaos from Gaybot, Guffaw, Beatrice is Dead, and City Harvest Black starting around 9 p.m. [source: artsound website] Tonight at Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) is solidly good punk band The Sweatshop Boys, and Taduya starting around 10:30 p.m. [source: Freetime] [21+] Tonight and tomorrow at midnight, The Little (240 East Ave.) will be screening The Aristocrats. [source: Little Theatre e-mail]

S A T U R D A Y

O'Bagelo's, 165 State Street, noon. This afternoon from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. at Abundance Cooperative Market (62 Marshall St.) is a Straw Bale Workshop with Annie O'Reilly and Mike O'Reilly. [source: Abundance Co-op calendar] [all ages] This evening at The Oxford Gallery (267 Oxford St.) is the opening reception for Facts and Fables featuring oil paintings by Julie Cardillo, and Richard Jenks from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. [source: Oxford Gallery website] Tonight at 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. at Downstairs Cabaret (172 West Main St.) is another comedy improv show with Nuts and Bolts Improv Troupe (see their site at ImprovAmerica too). [source: Nuts and Bolts e-mail] Brian Lindsay, Alan Whitney, and the witty and accomplished acoustic soloist Brian Coughlin will be at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) starting around 8 p.m. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing Ascenseur pour l'échafaud (Elevator to the Gallows) starting at 8 p.m. in which a murderer gets stuck in an elevator after his crime. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages] Tonight at A|V Art Sound Space (#8 in the Public Market, off N. Union St., formerly The All-Purpose Room) starting around 9 p.m. is a Water for Sudan benefit featuring Acin, Arthur Doyle Electro-Acoustic Ensemble, air-powered noise band Asthmatic, Crush the Junta, Foot and Mouth Disease, and Tinnitustimulus. [source: artsound website] Monty's Krown (875 Monroe Ave.) will be hosting Knife Crazy, really great, tight, current punk-rock from 5 Watt Bulb, and Odiorne starting around 10:30 p.m. [source: Freetime] [21+] Over at The Jam Room (3873 Buffalo Rd., formerly the Buffalo Roadhouse) starting around 10:30 p.m. is Burning Snella. [source: Freetime] Blue Jimmy, and Dave McGrath will be at Richmond's (21 Richmond St.) starting around 10:30 p.m. [source: Freetime] The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) will be hosting great power rock-and-roll from Bee Eater, Breakerbox, and good punk from The Pushrods starting around 10:45 p.m. [source: Bug Jar calendar] Tonight's another Betty's Sing-a-Long at Betty Meyer's Bullwinkle Café (622 Lake Ave.) starting around 10.

S U N D A Y

This afternoon is an early show at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) is great punk rock/hard rock band The UV Rays, Crucifist, great, wild, classic-style punk from Destrux, Finisher, Spoonful Of Vicodin, and How We Are starting around 2 p.m. [source: Bug Jar calendar] [all ages] Starry Nites Café (696 University Ave., formerly Moonbeans) is hosting their weekly Open Mike Poetry tonight at 7 p.m. [source: Starry Nites calendar]

T U E S D A Y

This morning at 7:30 a.m. in the cafeteria overlooking the arboretum in Bausch and Lomb (140 Stone St.) is the Artists Breakfast Group meeting ... anyone interested in art or creativity is invited. The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing One, Two, Three starting at 8 p.m. in which a Coca-Cola executive ends up marries a communist and tries to fix everything right again. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages] Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) is hosting an Acoustic Open Mic from 8 to 10. [source: Daily Perks calendar]

W E D N E S D A Y

This afternoon from 12:30 p.m. to 2 p.m. at 540 Lattimore Hall at The University of Rochester (Elmwood Ave. at Intercampus Dr., details on River Campus Map) is a lecture by Kathleen B. King titled Economic Self-Sufficiency for Women in Rochester and the Seven Surrounding Counties. [source: University of Rochester Events Calendar] Tonight at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) is Patsy O'Brien starting around 7 p.m. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages] Tonight at 7 p.m. at Writers and Books (740 University Ave.) is readings from those 25 & Under to celebrate 25 years of Writers and Books. [source: Writers and Books calendar] The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing La niña santa (The Holy Girl) starting at 8 p.m. A teenager tries to reconcile her sexuality and faith — she tries to save a man who rubbed against her in a public market. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages] This evening at 8 p.m. in Strong Auditorium at The University of Rochester (Elmwood Ave. at Intercampus Dr., details on River Campus Map) is Gabriel Alegria in the 4Future Music Tour. [source: University of Rochester Events Calendar] Poor People United meets tonight and every Wednesday at 7 at St. Joseph's House of Hospitality (402 South Ave.) [source: the proverbial grapevine] There's an Open Mic for Acoustic Music at Boulder Coffee Co. (100 Alexander St.) tonight around 8. [source: the proverbial grapevine] [all ages]

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