Weekly Rochester Events #338: Integrate This, Johann

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Every once in a while, there's some event that makes me realize that I really am some kind of creator or artist or something. There was one time when I was taking photographs and I was setting up a shot — walking around to find the right angle — and I realized I was standing right on the centerline of Mount Hope. I remember thinking, "ok, I guess I'm a photographer."

Well, on Friday, I decided to make a new weird bike. I don't have any pictures yet (and I may never get around to it) but it's got a single frame tube that curves around, and the wheels are those from a little kid's bike. I spent most of Friday getting the pipe bent and I welded the back-end and steering tube on, and I put together a test steering bar. I was sailing along so amazing well, that I thought I could get it to a rideable state. I figured out where to put the seat post and cut the frame.

I got the seat tube from an old bike and ground off the paint. I tack-welded the front half and it looked good so I added the back. Eyeballing it up, it looked great so I finish-welded the front and worked on the back.

Well, I had screwed it up: the whole thing ended up pretty crooked. I tried again and did the same kind of mistake, so I had to grind off the welds so I could line it up right. I tried a third time and managed to burn through the seat post. I patched it a little but realized the blobs of metal all over the inside would prevent the seat from fitting in.

I broke off the weld for the back-end in a fit of rage and with a full swing, I smashed it into the ground and threw it aside. In full scare-the-shit-out-of-the-Incredible-Hulk mode, I yelled and repeatedly pounded the busted steering tube into the ground (but the weld was good enough that I didn't manage to break it off.) I left it for a few minutes, cleaned everything up, then spent 3 hours sitting on the porch pissed off at myself to wallow in failure.

Thus, I guess I'm an artist or something now.

After I got my senses back, I decided to build a new seat post and cut off the nasty crud from the front and back halves of the frame. I stayed away from the welder, though.

Later that night I made it out to the show at Water Street Music Hall (204 N. Water St.) First up was The IsotopesMySpace link who naturally put on a great show of surf-rock and unusual cover songs [where's my check, Karl?]. I gauged the audience to be pretty reserved — they wouldn't hang out for just anyone — but probably 75% of them got up and got into the band. Among the "bump announcements" they do between songs, one of them was, "hey, check out the old guy at the bar who can't hear anything. I said," and then much louder, "check out the old guy at the bar who can't hear anything."

Anyone who's been to Water Street knows this guy ... I fall for the illusion every time: I figure he must be some seasoned bartender to be pitted with some cute young female bartender. This particular night I figured I'd avoid the possibility of a $unknown shot of "top shelf" Jack Daniels and instead opted for the Saranac Black Forest which was listed on a chalkboard for $3/pint. There was a guy before me who got the same thing, and the "old guy" bartender put the drink in front of me and I gestured to my right to give it to the guy who actually ordered it. Now it was my turn and I said, "I'll have the same ... a Saranac." Well, he goes over and pulls from another tap, and I realize there's another Saranac they have. I tried yelling to him to no avail and when he comes back, I said, "no ... I meant the Saranac Black Forest." He gives me this line about how I should specify since they have two Saranac's on tap.

Well, I lost it, grabbed him by the neck, and said, "listen, fuckknob, you're the bartender and you know what's on tap, so next time you should ask if a customer wants the Saranac Black Forest — clearly spelled out on that blackboard — or the Saranac Pale Ale — on the tap handle rotated 90° out of sight." Then, out loud I said, "sorry ... I wanted a Black Forest." Apparently I had just enough rope before the end to avoid externalizing my internal rage from earlier in the day.

Anyhow, next up was The Atomic SwindlersGarageBand link who I had been meaning to see for a while. When I saw them at Mercury Star Lounge (171 St. Paul, formerly Red) three years ago, I wrote them off as a "bland rock band." In the interim, I had read an article by Frank De Blase glowing about them, so I wanted to check out their last 5 shows or so, but not really all that excited to make the effort. Well, this time, I'll say they play "rock with a psychadellic twist — generically — it's mechanically correct but with no heart: it's like watching people work at WalMart. Oh ... and they play too slow." I couldn't even bear to stay through the end of their set, so I also missed Footage whom I've never even seen.

At the Mercury show, I remember their singer (April, I think ... if their former "April Laragy and the Atomic Swindlers" band name is any hint) emploring, "why isn't anyone dancing: we're working hard up here." My silent response was (and still would be) "fuck you: rock better," although I'm enough of an arrogant asshole now to probably yell it out. In this show, she went on a tangent about how she drinks water from a sippy cup in case "someone wants to slip in some 'performance enhancing' substances" in it, and then implied that she'd imbibe later. I can't begin to explain my annoyance — I mean, if you want to be straightedge about it, that's cool. If you want to brag about your drug and alcohol use/abuse on stage, okay. Just don't brag about how you perform straight and save the fun stuff for later — not like it matters because "performance enhancing" is a myth ... it's "performance altering" ... sometimes for the better and sometimes not. The trick is to figure out what works for you.

For instance, I'm in the midst of experimenting with alcoholism, and am sitting around in the cool night air listening to Air Supply's "Lost in Love" on vinyl at 1:31 a.m. I'm running on two Budweiser Select's, and two soy-milk/coffee/sugar/rum "mudslides." Look how well it's working for me — this shit is gold [not just "gold" but "gold," baby.]

Admittedly, this is one of the rare cases where I'm actually expending effort on giving a negative review (usually if I have a lukewarm to lousy experience with a performance/artwork, I just fail to mention it.) Let me just add, for the sake of The Atomic SwindlersGarageBand link that should they want to critique the critic (by the way, via the contact form ... perhaps when they Google "Atomic Swindlers" sometime in early August) note that I'll probably ignore the message — unless they realize that this is all my opinion, that through public performance that they're open to critique (good and bad) and that they're retort can't be summarized with, "nuh-ha: you suck."

Shit ... I'm rambling. See what I mean about the difference between "performance enhancing" and "performance altering."

But back to more regular-styled stuff, Saturday evening I stopped by The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) for some more rock-and-roll. Whatever Mary started things off with another delivery of excellent punk-rock. Next was The MotorpsychosMySpace link who played some spectacular metal-influenced punk-rock. (Unfortunately, I have to leave out an amusing anecdote about the show because it might get one particular guitarist in trouble — sometimes I think I can mention someone else's story and sometimes I can't. This is the latter ... sorry.) Anyway, The BlastoffsMySpace link finished things off with another spectacular show of super tight punk-rock — they even played all my favorite songs, so now I don't like them anymore because they didn't leave me wanting for more.

Critic. Cynic. Whatever.

Oh yeah, on Saturday I ran out of flux-core wire for the welder and I had planned to move to argon MIG. Naturally I ran out on Saturday when Mahany Welding Supply (36 Field St.) was closed, so I had to wait until Monday. However, now I've got learn an entirely new (but somewhat similar) technique to use MIG. At least I'll spend less time grinding all the sputter off the welds. Better still, I can make the most depressing anti-helium balloons that drop like rocks — the 75% argon mix is nearly 0.2 oz/gallon (versus helium which is about 10 times less dense.) Plus, it doesn't even make you talk funny although it's way easier to get light-headed and/or die of asphyxiation!

On Monday I got out to see the latest installment of Emerging Filmmakers Series (which is going to continue through the summer this year) at The Little (240 East Ave.) Anyway, Fake Reporter, Vermin Supreme by Dawn Zuppelli was pretty good ... a little too much on the "mocking" side for my own taste. Essentially, fictional reporter "Vermin Surpreme" invades the (real) Republican National Convention and interviews a bunch of Republican-to-the-black-liquid-that's-not-blood-core attendees. At least his questions are often sufficiently surreal sometimes — "if George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden got in a fight, who would win?" Karen's ultra-rational programming for this show progressed with the second of two political films: Last Two Questions, Rebuttal, and Closing Statements by Benjamin Entner. It reminded me a lot of David T. Lewis' "Soap Suds" which I saw as part of Ice CapadesMySpace link show. In this, however, it's not an episode of All My Children that has all the dialog removed (leaving only reactions) but the 2004 Presidential debate between John Kerry and George W. Bush — specifically, the last two questions, rebuttal, and closing statements as might be implied by the title. Both are surreal, but I think the latter is funnier.

I also liked Braided Roots by Robin Claudell which documents one thread in the history of racism with an unswervingly steady pace. Next was Sew by Nicholas Gurewitch which is a super-funny documentary about one girl's obsession with creating acronyms from the words people say — "wiasfdaogowcaftwps," for instance, could become "www fascist of pagoda." The title is derived from Sarah Elizabeth Witt's name, whom I am totally crushing on now — a real "win act." [Shit ... now I got it in my head: crushing is over.] I also liked Veronica by Seth Hymes which was a mocumentary about pushing an extremist activist liberal to suicide for "the cause." He's also working on a locally filmed film titled Breaking Balls contrasting real baseball with the metaphoric "bases" describing how well one "scores" with a woman. And just as in ...To Skin a Cat by Dan O'Berry, it's only $50 for a home run (woo! a segue!) Anyway, Dan's film was an ambitious project about a guy who gets dumped by his girlfriend and who enacts predictably perfect revenge in the end ... not necessarily a bad film, but more ambitious than the cast and crew could deliver. Finally, Drink by Patrick Smith was a pretty weird film that was better than his last: a guy drinks a beverage that leads to him opening up all the people inside him, but they he puts it all back in perspectvie.

So in case you're wondering, it's now 3:29 a.m. I'm seriously working on this nocturnal thing, and apparenlty my writing is suffering from it. Well, at least the final edits are being overlooked in favor of sweet, sweet sleep. That, and an absurdly long survey, and three more shots of tequila and half a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red.

  • It's All Gone Pete Tong (at The Little) - A club DJ loses his hearing and everything else.
  • War of the Worlds - Events of September 11 are recalled to bolster the aura of this summer blockbuster.
  • Rebound - Movies about famous coaches relegated to smalltime teams are bound to be stupid.

Tonight's Party in the Park at The High Falls Festival Site (Browns Race and Commercial St.) starting around 5:30 p.m. features Uncle PlumGarageBand link with After FX. [source: City Hall press release] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Tonight at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) is tight, technical metal from BMLMySpace link, This Day Forward, and DSpellMySpace link starting around 9:30 p.m. [source: Bug Jar calendar] [18+]

Pure Kona Poetry Open Mic Night is at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) tonight starting at 7:30. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages]

Tonight, Friday night, and Saturday night at 9:30 p.m. is the River of Light laser show at The High Falls Gorge (Pont De Rennes Bridge.) [source: City Hall press release] [all ages]

Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) will be hosting Mike Sapienza starting around 8 p.m. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Tonight at 7:30 p.m. is a New Music Concert by director Clay Greenberg at Kilbourn Hall at Eastman Theatre (60 Gibbs St.) [source: Eastman School of Music calendar] [all ages]

Funky groove band Vernon's Bird will be at Java's (16 Gibbs St.) starting around 8 p.m. [source: Java's calendar] [all ages]

Tonight is the last night to see A Chorus Line at Geva (75 Woodbury Blvd.) [source: Geva Theatre e-mail]

JayceLand Pick Over at Spy Bar and Grill (139 State St.) starting around 10:30 p.m. is awesome, tight, complex rock-and-roll from The VEiNSIUMA link. [source: the proverbial grapevine]

The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing L'enfance nue (Naked Childhood) starting at 8 p.m. Anti-sentimental view of an orphan boy. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Starting at noon today is the Joe+N Day Tour with stops at various Rochester locations on the hour, every hour. The final performance is at A|V Art Sound Space (#8 in the Public Market, off N. Union St., formerly The All-Purpose Room) starting at 8 p.m. [source: artsound website] [all ages]

Today at The Rochester Public Market (280 Union St. N.) from 10 a.m. to noon is another Chef's Day event. [source: City Hall press release]

PsyopusGarageBand linkMySpace link, RenoufIUMA linkMySpace link, The Jefferson Plane CrashMySpace link, Arson EmberMySpace link, and Home PharmacyGarageBand linkMySpace link will be at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting in the afternoon around 3 p.m. [source: Bug Jar calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Over at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) starting around 8 p.m. is Lindsay Mac. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages]

Today from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. at Mt. Hope Cemetery (North Gate, 791 Mt. Hope Ave.) is another Friends of Mount Hope Cemetery Walking Tour. [source: Freetime] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Over at The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) starting around 10:45 p.m. is something like ambient and power-pop combined from HinkleyMySpace link, good acoustic soloist Gregory PaulGarageBand linkMySpace link, and complex, hard-hitting, mid-tempo rock/chaos-rock band Kill Myself on Monday. [source: Bug Jar calendar]

The Mike McNeill Jazz Quartet will be at Starry Nites Café (696 University Ave., formerly Moonbeans) starting around 9 p.m. [source: Starry Nites calendar] [all ages]

The Dryden Theater at George Eastman House (900 East Ave.) will be showing It Came from Outer Space about alien visitors who take over a town starting at 8 p.m. followed by The Creature from the Black Lagoon about an alien being that takes over an Amazon River expiditon ... and a Crespinel Stereoscopic Film from 1921. All of which will be presented in red/blue 3-D ... and all three films are to be shown tomorrow at 4 p.m.. [source: Eastman House calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Nora KaminskiMySpace link will be at Java's (16 Gibbs St.) starting around 8 p.m. [source: WBER calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Tonight and tomorrow at The High Falls Gorge (Pont De Rennes Bridge) is a special Spirit of America Independence Day Laser and Fireworks Show starting at 9:30 p.m. [source: City Hall press release]

Starry Nites Café (696 University Ave., formerly Moonbeans) is hosting their weekly Open Mike Poetry tonight at 7 p.m. [source: Starry Nites calendar] [all ages]

Fly the flag today.Independence Day

Today is the last day to see Watershed: A Community Cares for its Land, an exhibition by Christine Sevilla at The Center at High Falls Fine Art Gallery (70 Brown's Race.) [source: Arts and Cultural Council e-mail]

Top Pick Downtown tonight starting at 10 p.m. is the city's fireworks display, celebrating America's 229th birthday. Note also that there is a Laser Show at 9:30 p.m. at The High Falls Gorge (Pont De Rennes Bridge.) [source: City Hall press release]

JayceLand Pick The Bug Jar (219 Monroe Ave.) will be hosting good high-energy punk-rock (and a bit of ska) from The Grievants and The Cave Brides starting around 9:30 p.m. [source: Carbon Records e-mail] [18+]

Not ready for mainstream Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) is hosting an Acoustic Open Mic from 8 to 10. For this one, there's no microphones and it's pretty open ended. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages]

JayceLand Pick Today from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. at Aqueduct Park (Main Street by the river) is the first of this summer's Noontime Concerts featuring The Legendary Dukes. [source: City Hall press release]

Tonight at Starry Nites Café (696 University Ave., formerly Moonbeans) is Mark Casey starting around 8 p.m. [source: Starry Nites calendar] [all ages]

Poor People United meets tonight and every Wednesday at 7 at St. Joseph's House of Hospitality (402 South Ave.) [source: the proverbial grapevine]

Not ready for mainstream Tonight from 8 to 10 is an Open-Mic Comedy Night at Daily Perks (389 Gregory St.) While once it was a workshop type of environment, it's now more-or-less a regular open mic ... by default it's still a place to try out new stuff. [source: Daily Perks calendar] [all ages]

Tonight at The Club at Water Street (204 N. Water St.) is another Open Mic Wenzdaze with Acoustic Café from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. and then Rock-n-Roll Circus starting at 9 p.m. [source: Water Street calendar]

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Weekly Poll
June 30, 2005
What's the worst song to get stuck in your head?
"Lost in Love" by Air Supply 0

"This is the Theme to Garry's Show," the theme song to "It's Garry Shandling's Show" 1 (17%)

Tone Loc's "Funky Cold Medina" ... er ... I mean, "Wild Thing" ... no, wait ... the "Wild Thing/Funky Cold Medina" bastardized medley thing ... aaaaargh! 1 (17%)

"Pop Goes the World" by Men Without Hats — fuck you, Canada ... every little miss doesn't need a bird. 0

Take a chance, take a chance on Abba's "Take a Chance On Me." 0

"K-Tel Rock Star" by the Badenovs. 0

Barenaked Ladies in "The Old Apartment." 2 (33%)

The Blackouts' "Jimmy Vandino." 0

Dancing, romancing sure takes its toll on my soul — "Disco Barry" by SNMNMNM 0

Pissing "The Malt Liquor Song" by The Sluts out your ass. 0

Fuck ... I can't stop the Go-Go's' "Can't Stop the World." 0

Yeah ... I'm so cool, I'm so deep, I write "Anti-Fake" in my sleep by The Goonies. 0

"Pretend to Be Nice" off the "Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack" [especially for you, Sara.] 0

"Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega in fucking hell! 0

The Utah Saints' "Theme from Mortal Kombat" — fight. 0

"Telephone" by The Blastoffs is driving me fucking crazy. 0

"Voices Carry" by Til' Tuesday, so shut the fuck up. 0

Andre 3000's "Hey Ya!" because you never really listened to the lyrics. 0

"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin ... and, yeah, that's Christopher Reeves and Robin Williams in the video. 0

You can't jam "This Transmission" from Eddie Nebula and the Plague. 0

The Dream Academy's "Life in a Northern Town." 0

JoAnn Vaccaro's best ballad fucking ever, "My Memory. 0

"Bittersweet Grand Canyon," the second best balled fucking ever by Kirsten Jones 0

Leonard Cohen's "Closing Time" [just for you, Ann.] 0

The Loonies' "VMS: Just Say No" [just for you, nerdy college friends in Tab's room on that night at RIT.] 0

"Silver Car" by Manplanet — with that cocaine feel. 0

I got drunk last night and I got in a fight, but now I'm all right ... "Got Kissed" by The Purrs. 0

Nena's "99 Luftballons" and/or Nena's "99 Red Balloons" for you American pop asswipes. 0

Ristrocket's "Child of the '80's" for you American pop asswipes. 0

"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by freakshow twins The Proclaimers. 0

Rockstars' "Slug." My sucicide mind is ill. 0

It hit her like Fake Brain's "A Ton of Pillows." I don't know why: I really don't. 0

"Binary Girl" by the Mathematicians ... not logical ... 0h, 0h, 0h. 1 (17%)

Slow way down; gather up your things you need for Adult Rodeo's "Monticello." 0

Any of these: thanks a lot for the cacophony, asshole! 1 (17%)

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On this day ... June 30


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Movie links courtesy The Internet Movie Database. Map links courtesy MapsOnUs. Some movie synopses courtesy UpcomingMovies.com

About the title ... Johann Bernoulli was born 338 years ago in 1667 and developed mathematical calculus.

This page is Jason Olshefsky's list of things to do in Rochester, NY and the surrounding region (including Monroe County and occasionally the Western New York region.) It is updated every week with daily listings for entertainment, activities, performances, movies, music, bands, comedy, improv, poetry, storytelling, theater, plays, and generally fun things to do. The musical styles listed can include punk, emo, ska, swing, rock, rock-and-roll, alternative, metal, jazz, blues, noise band, experimental music, folk, acoustic, and "world-beat." Events listed take place during the day, in the evenings, or as part of the city's nightlife as listed. Oh, and it's spelled JayceLand with no space and a capital L, not Jayce Land, Jaycee Land, Jace Land, Jase Land, Joyce Land, Jayce World, Jayceeland, Jaceland, Jaseland, Joyceland, Jayceworld, Jayceeworld, Jaceworld, Jaseworld, nor Joyceworld. (Now if you misspell it in some search engine, you at least get a shot at finding it.) While I'm on the topic of keywords for search engines, this update includes information for Thursday, June 30, 2005 (Thu, Jun 30, 2005, 6/30/2005, or 6/30/05) Friday, July 1, 2005 (Fri, Jul 1, 2005, 7/1/2005, or 7/1/05) Saturday, July 2, 2005 (Sat, Jul 2, 2005, 7/2/2005, or 7/2/05) Sunday, July 3, 2005 (Sun, Jul 3, 2005, 7/3/2005, or 7/3/05) Monday, July 4, 2005 (Mon, Jul 4, 2005, 7/4/2005, or 7/4/05) Tuesday, July 5, 2005 (Tue, Jul 5, 2005, 7/5/2005, or 7/5/05) and Wednesday, July 6, 2005 (Wed, Jul 6, 2005, 7/6/2005, or 7/6/05).

JayceLand Pick indicates an event that's a preferred pick of the day ... probably something worth checking out.

Top Pick indicates a "guaranteed" best bet for the particular genre of the indicated event.

IUMA link links to a band's page on IUMA.com which offers reviews and information about bands.

GarageBand link links to a band's page on GarageBand.com which offers reviews and information about bands.

MySpace link links to a band's page on MySpace.com which is a friend-networking site that is popular with bands.

Not ready for mainstream. is an event that is "non-entertainment" for the masses such as practice sessions, open jams, etc.

Fly the flag today. is a day when you should fly the flag according to the Veterans of Foreign Wars calendar.

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